I have my first consultation appointment next week. I decided to start with a local OBGYN that does inseminations. The appointment is a week away from today and I'm already so nervous I feel sick! :) I have been waiting for about 2 months for the appointment and my list of questions for the doctor keeps growing... I tend to be an over-thinker and have so many worries. Some of which I know are normal, others I'm sure I've created for myself.
Part of me is scared to death to actually be pregnant. I read all of these horror stories about women who have had major complications and of course I think its going to happen to me. Its not even the actual delivery that I fear, which I probably should right?!? I fear a pulmonary embolism or an aneurysm, which I know are both pretty rare. So why do I have this fear? Maybe because two of my nieces have had pregnancy complications. Maybe because I read too much?!? One of my nieces was hospitalized for months during her pregnancy due to a heart problems that had previously been undiagnosed and only affected her while pregnant. The other niece, who had a baby 5 week ago, was just released from the hospital last week after having a very serious and rare blood clot in her ovarian vein.
Another worry is my job. Right now I am able to pay my mortgage and pay extra towards paying off debt, but not much else. The home renovations have put a huge dent in any savings that I may have had. I have figured out costs associated with having a baby as best as I can and will be able to afford it as long as I can keep the job/pay level I am at. I currently work very close to my house so there are not a lot of gas expenses and/or extra car maintenance. I work for a small family owned business that has less than 30 employees and I am the only female working there. The owner is pretty "old school" and thinks women should only be answering the phone and filing. I'm not sure how they would handle me being pregnant. They asked me in the interview whether I had kids or not and when I replied "no" they said "good, that's how we like it". I know that this is pretty much illegal for them to ask but I really needed the job at the time. I worry that they will find a reason to "lay me off" and I won't be able to find another job at my pay level. This has been a big worry for me for a while now. I know that I can't let that fear stop me from my dreams so I need to figure out a way to protect myself from a financial crisis if it were to happen.
I also worry about my dogs. I have 2 lab mixes who are like my kids and would do just about anything for them. I worry about what it will be like to be alone, with a baby in the house, and two big dogs. Will the dogs be OK with a baby? Who will take care of them if something were to happen to me? (I already have a plan for who would care for the baby).
My dogs have never really been around kids, other than the neighbor and that was thru the fence. They are sometimes loud and rowdy but are pretty low maintenance. I am fortunate enough to have a decent sized fenced in yard and they pretty much entertain themselves when I am working on the house. I see so many people who get rid of their dogs after having kids. Why? Did the dogs not get along with the baby? Is it really because they don't have the time to spend with them anymore, taking them for walks, feeding them, etc? Did they allow for an adjustment period? I am NOT judging anyone who made the decision to re-home a pet. I am just really curious why someone would have to make that choice so I can prepare as best as I can. Anyone have any experience with this?
Am I really worrying about all of this stuff for nothing? I know most of the things I worry about won't ever happen. Or they could happen even without me being pregnant. I know it will all work out the way its supposed to, it always does. Worrying about it isn't going to change anything....
Hi Kelsie, I too was terrified of pregnancy and possible disasters from explosive acne to clots to brain hemorrhage...even though I'm a doctor. Or partly because I know too much. A lot because I used to be such a worrier. I chose to pray and meditate a lot which cured my fretting. "You cannot pray and worry at the same time", someone said. Thankfully, my pregancy was smooth and my 7 mo old son is healthy. Sending calming, healthy wishes your way!
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting and sharing :)
DeleteI can speak for the dog concerns. I had my two large rowdy lab mixes for many years prior to my son and loved them very dearly. When my son was six months old, the older (and smarter) of the two dogs suddenly got very sick and passed away. That left me with one rowdy not-so-bright younger dog with extra energy (now that he didn't have his sister to wrestle and burn energy off with). About the same time, my son started crawling, and suddenly my lovable 75 pound goofball dog thought my 15 pound baby would make a great wrestling mate. He would bark and rough-house pounce around whenever he was in the same room. While I know that he meant it all in a playful way, he simply didn't get that he couldn't act that way around a tiny baby. I tried to make it work for a month by training my dog to be gentle but he didn't get it. I tried to take him for longer walks to burn energy, but it simply didn't work in the frigid winter temperatures. It was to the point that I was constantly feeling anxious about even putting my son on the floor to play. Tomorrow marks exactly one year since the day we became dogless, and my heart still aches. It is the first time in my entire life to not have a pet. I hope to get a dog again in several years, when my child(ren) is older and bigger. I had to make a choice between my dog and the safety of my child. I hope that you don't have to make that decision...lab-mixes are such energetic lovable goofs!
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting. I am so worried about how they will react to any kids in the house. They have their moments of being rowdy and loud, but for the most part they are pretty calm. The worst is when someone comes to the door. They are 4 and 5 years old so definitely over the puppy stage. I hope I never have to face a decision like that...
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