I will be getting another IUI the beginning of December if all goes well. I've been looking at other donors and other banks but I keep going back to the one I've already chosen. I'm cmv negative so it narrows the selection quite a bit. I guess I keep looking because it seems like everyone says "you will just know when you find the right donor". That didn't really happen for me. I really like the donor and the personality that is portrayed but there is one medical concern I'm not sure if I should really even worry about. I guess in all reality I'm still having a really hard time letting go of the dream I've had my whole life. I wanted to fall in love, get married, and then have a baby.
Considering that I've been out on 2 dates in 5 years, I don't see that happening. Not in time for me to have a baby anyway. I haven't dated for a few reasons. The last relationship I was in ended badly. I was living with a guy and we worked together. We had slightly different hours and worked in different departments so we didn't really see each other during the work day. The day it ended started like any other, he left for work an hour before I did and got home before me. That morning he complained about work and I told him if he wasn't happy to do something about it. I thought he would look for another job (before or after giving notice to his job, I didn't really care). That afternoon I see him pull back into work after his shift. I didn't really think anything of it, he often came back for his tools if he had a project he was working on. No one said a word to me about why he was there and he didn't come and say hello. When I got home, my house was pretty much empty. He had cleaned out all of his things and left, not even leaving a note. He wouldn't answer my calls or my texts. He was gone. Going back to work the next day was hard. I couldn't believe no one said a word about him loading up his tools and quitting. We hadn't really been together that long, but it was long enough for me to have let him move in with me. My family loved him and we had a lot of plans. It really hurt when I found out he had moved out of state and within TWO weeks he had married an ex-girlfriend he supposedly hadn't seen in quite some time.
I decided right then to take some time off from dating. I had to make sure I was choosing the right kind of guy and for the right reasons. I seemed to always choose the same type and I didn't want to make that mistake again. Now, 5 years later I've been on 2 dates and don't really have the desire to go through it all again. I know it could be different with the right person, its just finding him. I've been so busy working on my house I didn't really have the time to date. My sister keeps encouraging me to try internet dating but I can't seem to force myself to actually write a profile. I keep joking that if I haven't met Tall, Dark, and Handsome at the hardware store I'm probably not going to find him anywhere. In a way I feel like I would be rushing things if I met someone anyway. I want to have a baby and time is limited for me to do so. With my age and family history multiple doctors have said if I'm going to do it, I need to do it now. So hopefully this try will be the lucky one. I will keep you updated....
