Halloween was always my favorite holiday as a child. It was more than just getting dressed up in a costume and asking for candy. :)
For me, part of the fun was helping to make the costume. Weeks ahead of time we would choose just the right costume, search for the pattern and materials, and my Mom would sew it all together. Sometimes it was made out of things we had around the house. It's amazing the ideas you can come up with if you put your mind to it!
Halloween night we always had dinner right after I got home from school and then the fun began! My mom always dressed in costume too and between myself, my nieces, sister-in-law, friends, and my Mom there was always a bunch of us to get ready (my brothers and sisters are much older than I am so my nieces are just a few years younger than me). We would all laugh and help everyone get into their costumes and makeup. We then set out through the neighborhood, all of us walking and meeting up with other groups along the way. We told ghost stories and talked about the "haunted houses" along the route. The last stop of the night was always at my Grandmothers house. (She was one of those people who was like a grandma to everyone in the neighboorhood) She always had a special bag of goodies for us and her famous homemade cider donuts. We waited all year for those donuts!!
Memories :) I hope someday I have the opportunity to create those special memories with my children....
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Waiting...
I am hoping to start TTC in January of 2014. I am waiting until then because of my house.
In 2010 I bought a fixer-upper in a nice neighborhood. The house hadn't been updated in over 30 years and it was the cheapest house in the neighborhood. My plan was new windows, doors, paint, hardwood flooring, and nice trim work. I knew a little about remodeling from helping my father with projects over the years. I thought my father would be helping me with the remodel but as it turns out I haven't seen him now for over 3 years. My parents split up after 35 years and he decided he wanted nothing to do with me (although they are on friendly terms ?!?). So, I learned very quickly. I did as much internet research as I could and just jumped in.
I started with new windows and quickly found out that the house would need a total gut job! The wiring was awful and there was pretty much NO insulation in the walls or attic. I knew that I would probably end up doing more than I had originally planned (you always find unexpected things while remodeling!) but I didn't think it would be that bad. Most of the issues were from someone cobbing things together and/or not using the right materials. I found live wires in the walls that went to nothing! So as I said, it started with windows, and quickly went to new electric, new insulation throughout the house, new doors, all new bathroom, all new plumbing, new hot water heater, new vinyl siding, new front porch, oh and the well went screwy on me and I had to drive a new well point (a new well for those who don't know what a point is) and put in a new tank and pump. I figured while I was at it I might as well move a few walls and move the kithcen from the TINY little area it was in, to across the house and make it into a kitchen/dining room combo! Needless to say it was very messy for a while. The rough construction is almost done now, in fact the last bedroom will be sheetrocked this weekend! Yay for me!! It will probably take me a few more months to finish the house completely, as I still have to paint every room, build another custom closet, build a custom entertainment center in the living room, trim every room, and decide on flooring and install it! I also want to add a deck around the above ground pool I installed last summer. I feel like it is finally coming together! (Thanks for the help Mom, I couldn't have done it without you!!)
I feel like if I can accomplish all of that and more, with two dogs and working full time, that I can do just about anything that I put my mind too! I only had to hire someone to do the new roof and to put in the new furnace.
The house is one of the reasons I feel I am still single. All of the men I have met since starting this project have been intimidated by me and the fact I jumped in on my own to do this. I didn't really have a choice. I thought my father would be helping me and I had budgeted for that. I couldn't afford to hire someone to do the work for me and I couldn't just live in the house the way it was until I saved the money, it was not safe.
This process has taught me a lot. Now that I know I can do things on my own that I never imagined I could, it has helped give me the courage I need to try to become a Mom on my own.
In 2010 I bought a fixer-upper in a nice neighborhood. The house hadn't been updated in over 30 years and it was the cheapest house in the neighborhood. My plan was new windows, doors, paint, hardwood flooring, and nice trim work. I knew a little about remodeling from helping my father with projects over the years. I thought my father would be helping me with the remodel but as it turns out I haven't seen him now for over 3 years. My parents split up after 35 years and he decided he wanted nothing to do with me (although they are on friendly terms ?!?). So, I learned very quickly. I did as much internet research as I could and just jumped in.
I started with new windows and quickly found out that the house would need a total gut job! The wiring was awful and there was pretty much NO insulation in the walls or attic. I knew that I would probably end up doing more than I had originally planned (you always find unexpected things while remodeling!) but I didn't think it would be that bad. Most of the issues were from someone cobbing things together and/or not using the right materials. I found live wires in the walls that went to nothing! So as I said, it started with windows, and quickly went to new electric, new insulation throughout the house, new doors, all new bathroom, all new plumbing, new hot water heater, new vinyl siding, new front porch, oh and the well went screwy on me and I had to drive a new well point (a new well for those who don't know what a point is) and put in a new tank and pump. I figured while I was at it I might as well move a few walls and move the kithcen from the TINY little area it was in, to across the house and make it into a kitchen/dining room combo! Needless to say it was very messy for a while. The rough construction is almost done now, in fact the last bedroom will be sheetrocked this weekend! Yay for me!! It will probably take me a few more months to finish the house completely, as I still have to paint every room, build another custom closet, build a custom entertainment center in the living room, trim every room, and decide on flooring and install it! I also want to add a deck around the above ground pool I installed last summer. I feel like it is finally coming together! (Thanks for the help Mom, I couldn't have done it without you!!)
I feel like if I can accomplish all of that and more, with two dogs and working full time, that I can do just about anything that I put my mind too! I only had to hire someone to do the new roof and to put in the new furnace.
The house is one of the reasons I feel I am still single. All of the men I have met since starting this project have been intimidated by me and the fact I jumped in on my own to do this. I didn't really have a choice. I thought my father would be helping me and I had budgeted for that. I couldn't afford to hire someone to do the work for me and I couldn't just live in the house the way it was until I saved the money, it was not safe.
This process has taught me a lot. Now that I know I can do things on my own that I never imagined I could, it has helped give me the courage I need to try to become a Mom on my own.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Decisions
I have a lot of decision to make. I have no doubt that I want to be a Mom, I'm just not sure the route I should take.
The options I am considering:
Foster to adopt
International Adoption (waiting child)
Use donor sperm and try for a biological child
Foster to adopt - there are many positives and negatives to this option.
International Adoption - I have always wanted to adopt internationaly and am drawn to adopting one of the many waiting children. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I could afford the fees associated with international adoption AND the time I would have to be out of the country (not working/collecting a paycheck). Possible at some point, but probably not right now.
Use donor sperm - This is the way I am leaning right now. At my age I will be lucky to get pregnant, if I put it off any longer I may not have the option. My family has a long history of endometriosis and other issues that have caused them to have to have hysterectomies at an early age (most of them in their early 30's).
I've talked to my doctor and she recommended a fertility specialist, although she does not see any reason why I can't get pregnant. In my area there are not many options for doctors who perform IUI's/IVF so if I were to go to the specialist it would be at least an hours drive each way to the office. I called around and found a OB/GYN office that will do IUI's locally. It costs about the same for each office so I'm not sure which one I will choose. The local office is also on call for weekends in case I need to go in outside of typical office hours. Just the thought of going to a "specialist" scares me. How do I choose which one to go to??
The options I am considering:
Foster to adopt
International Adoption (waiting child)
Use donor sperm and try for a biological child
Foster to adopt - there are many positives and negatives to this option.
International Adoption - I have always wanted to adopt internationaly and am drawn to adopting one of the many waiting children. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I could afford the fees associated with international adoption AND the time I would have to be out of the country (not working/collecting a paycheck). Possible at some point, but probably not right now.
Use donor sperm - This is the way I am leaning right now. At my age I will be lucky to get pregnant, if I put it off any longer I may not have the option. My family has a long history of endometriosis and other issues that have caused them to have to have hysterectomies at an early age (most of them in their early 30's).
I've talked to my doctor and she recommended a fertility specialist, although she does not see any reason why I can't get pregnant. In my area there are not many options for doctors who perform IUI's/IVF so if I were to go to the specialist it would be at least an hours drive each way to the office. I called around and found a OB/GYN office that will do IUI's locally. It costs about the same for each office so I'm not sure which one I will choose. The local office is also on call for weekends in case I need to go in outside of typical office hours. Just the thought of going to a "specialist" scares me. How do I choose which one to go to??
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
1st Post ~ ever
I'm actually suprised to find myself here in the blogging world. I am typically not a person who writes out her thoughts and feelings, especially for anyone in the world to see. I have been inspired by the Choice Mom blogs I have been reading recently, so I thought I might give it a shot!
I am 36 years old and I have always wanted to be a Mom. My dream was always to get married and have babies. While others dreamed of becoming doctors or lawyers and traveling the world, I dreamed of being a stay-at-home Mom. My friends and family all thought I would be 1st to have kids. Well, Life Happened, and not the way I had planned! I am pretty much the only one in my group who is still unmarried and childless.
What happened? How did I end up where I am today? Perhaps it was because I waited years for the man I thought I would share my life with to return to me (more on that later) and missed my chance? Perhaps it was because I didn't want to end up with the wrong man like some others had. I guess there is no one answer to that question.
I turned 36 a few days ago and all I have thought about since was becoming a Mom on my own. I have thought about it for years but not in quite the same way. It was always a "maybe someday I will get the guts to go ahead with it" kind of thing. For some reason on my birthday, as I sat there alone waiting to meet family for dinner, I saw myself years down the road, still unmarried, still childless. I realized that even though things didn't work out the way I had planned (I still hope they someday will) I would rather have a child on my own than wait for my dream to happen and possibly miss my chance entirely.
Hopefuly I can become part of the Choice Mom "family"! Thank you for reading my blog :)
I am 36 years old and I have always wanted to be a Mom. My dream was always to get married and have babies. While others dreamed of becoming doctors or lawyers and traveling the world, I dreamed of being a stay-at-home Mom. My friends and family all thought I would be 1st to have kids. Well, Life Happened, and not the way I had planned! I am pretty much the only one in my group who is still unmarried and childless.
What happened? How did I end up where I am today? Perhaps it was because I waited years for the man I thought I would share my life with to return to me (more on that later) and missed my chance? Perhaps it was because I didn't want to end up with the wrong man like some others had. I guess there is no one answer to that question.
I turned 36 a few days ago and all I have thought about since was becoming a Mom on my own. I have thought about it for years but not in quite the same way. It was always a "maybe someday I will get the guts to go ahead with it" kind of thing. For some reason on my birthday, as I sat there alone waiting to meet family for dinner, I saw myself years down the road, still unmarried, still childless. I realized that even though things didn't work out the way I had planned (I still hope they someday will) I would rather have a child on my own than wait for my dream to happen and possibly miss my chance entirely.
Hopefuly I can become part of the Choice Mom "family"! Thank you for reading my blog :)
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